The Key of C Overture for the next Millenium... "Life Sucks'

At the Coffee Roasters San Anselmo this afternoon. Had my usual friendly hellos to the two beautiful 'baristas' where it went with 'Oh good.' with an air of depression and exhaustion. Then 'You are always good..' I said. She upped the ante 'Life Sucks!' Aha!! Hooray doesn't it feel better.. Can't we have an international chorus. The Beethoven symphony for 2012 with the Mayan golden age around the corner 'Life Sucks Overture in B Flat no make that B Sharp  no that is the Key of C.

 So I ventured my nerve up to talk to the 2 Twin Cities Police officers relaxing out front, and what a good conversation ensued. Nothing raises my hackles more than seeing these fine men in Blue patroling the streets of San Anselmo. Nothing personal two very fine men. I was it seemed the lone voice at the meetings was it last year when the SA town Council voted unanimously to begin a merger for cost saving. 'Penny wise pound foolish' as one friend a SA resident put it later when the subject had been brought up. He seemed (TC Officer) quite excited that the new Central Marin Police Department.. hah who needs towns with individual police forces. He says this is the model for the state and departments all over the state will be watching so everywhere we can enact cost saving and you won't need a police force for your town any more. I questioned whether the people of San Anselmo were properly alerted to this developement.. oh yes there have been plenty of hearings he said. I suggested that maybe we really don't need town governments either perhaps we could save money there too. The truth is in talking to this guy, I will refrain from using his name, I was dealing with a friendly intelligent man who had I would say a pretty crisp way of looking at the world and agreed with me right away that California is New Orleans pre-Katrina...Last thing I said to him was 'have mercy if you see me staggering down the street some night.' He said.. I will.


 Anyways this encounter left me ... vibrating... at a certain frequency.

      So it should be no surprize that someone shouts out Hey Guy from across the street and this young hairy guy walking towards me smiling (Thank God for that)
over by the Library and I try to place him is this someone I new when he was a kid he looks like one of my nephews he's all smiles. No we had a conversation at the CMCM a few months ago now I remember he turns before I can even speak and compliments some undoutedly beautiful female with Red Boots who walked past me.. 'Nice Boots..' he says. After a couple of seconds she turned and gave him
a quick smile. 'Thanks for the smile' as she walked away without turning again.
'You are alive today.' I said trying to remember the line 'Nice Boots' for future
encounters...

    We both walked into Seawood Photo and to wrap this up because the SA Library closes in 5 minutes.. I spoke to the owner a man I have known for many years and mentioned my conversation with the TC officers. Did you know about the Central Marin Police Department? I asked he smiled 'oh yes..' I was fumbling for words or looking for them as I tried to say what was on my mind.. There is something about where we are going.... My friend the shop owner just smiled peacefully and helped me find the words.. 'Police State.' Ommm...

The Third Party

Third Party.

 -Talking Points-

 Liberty, Ecology, Community

 No contributions over $100 accepted.
 Every community in America protects local ecology and local economy.
 Liberty of speech, religion, freedom in pursuit of happiness.
 Candidates chosen from the community in annual local open conventions/meetings.

Conscientious Objector Status...

 I am talking about the presidential election of 2012. 'Rivals Trade Attacks' says my local newspaper regarding Biden and Ryan. The fact checkers pretty much have given up... both candidates are here to trumpet their particular brand of leadership towards a winning mirage. The numbers don't add up for either candidate.

 A friend tells me 'We are so  ****ed!'

 The thought occurred to me months ago that neither of these guys have the confidence to simply think, and deliberate and honestly assess our situation. They are harnessed to a machine that must win.. we must defeat the other guy', that is the mission. I must convince Americans, that my opponent is a dangerous fool.That shouldn't be so hard .. which one are you more afraid of? Two dangerous fools  -- there is still Jill Stein of the Green Party and Gary Johnson of the Libertarian Party if the left and right need an alternative.

  Obama has a disengaged style that never questions or probes the depth of any issue. Maybe he just had a bad day at that last debate, I personally don't think he has a clue about numbers, his money numbers - but you might say he has the  best minds in America advising him how can I say that? 15 Trillion in debt and what year will be the year ... if he wins.. that he will present a budget that despite our difficulties doesn't add more to the weight on the American People's shoulders? Probably not next year and if he wins big which now looks less likely will he go for the 'really big stimulus' that Dr. Krugman over at the NY Times still trumpets ... don't be afraid of deficits once we revive the economy, then we can finally balance the budget. That seems to be the thinking of the Democrats.  Wasn't this the philosophy of the Republicans once? I think it still is. Romney thinks the military needs more money but he will still find a way to balance the budget. Apparently by cutting out PBS and NPR. 'Green energy' Romney says with a hint of a sneer, maybe I am reading too much into his words or not paying attention enough. Just drill now anywhere everywhere, anywhere we must have cheap gas.. Run a pipeline across the USA and drill in Canada to support our ratrace lifestyle. Remember this line 'of patriot's dreams that sees beyond the years' from America the Beautiful, the country where God shed his grace on thee. Then we went ahead and destroyed everything, and can't see one year ahead or any vision on behalf of America's future generations.

   So you run a pipeline from North Dakota to Louisiana and every Farm and property owner in that thousand mile stretch, how many is that? Every man and woman who own a deed to their own land will be forced by emminent domain to give up their property because a foreign corporation wants to build a pipeline so that someone can make more millions and this burning oil further ****'s our planet the one we are passing on to the next generation.

  Look at an issue as trivial as Nuclear Power. Everyone knows as does Romney and Obama that Nuclear Energy is in Obama's words 'safe and secure'.  Obama in the early days pulls the plug on the 20 year or so project to store Nuclear waste under Yucca Moutain in Nevada.. Hmmm...? Well naturally no one wants a project like that in your back yard. Then a little later the news comes oh well... let's get more nuclear reactors online, wasn't there some kind of loan guarantees from this federal bill to support green energy.

 Anyways beautiful world, beautiful people... Peace. I just apparently felt the need to talk about this and this is far enough. Third Party coming soon. We need it. We can do something..go down fighting or rise up and make the best of this mess anways I'm voting for a Red White and Blue Solution.

Earth to Number 9, come in please...

'Earth to Number 9, number 9.. come in, come in...'

The words of my taxi cab dispatcher greeted me as I climbed back into my cab at 4th and B streets
this past Sunday, now it's Tuesday. I let him know that I was ready to roll.

Number 9 is 10-8 here at the San Anselmo Library right now.


How do we deal with this world? How do I with all my youthful optimism and some arrogance and a whole lot of self doubt. That would be 1975, how do I engage with the world? But now it's 2012 what happened to that cult of optimism that was mine to share with the world as we grooved our way towards the Greening of America. I floundered... I faltered I... Hah ..!! Old man how are you doing?

So the world keeps rolling as humanity ponders existence and our collective situation.

Day after day the newspaper announces, trumpets some new event much of it represents 'progress' seems like nothing is challenged. Should I share my list? The latest attempt to pump up the economy 'a forceful measure' from the Fed to buy back 40 Billion a month until the economy improves. OK. Wall Street rallied on the bold move. Too deep for me. Somehow you buy back these bonds that represent debt because you are the Federal Reserve Bank system - you are not the government of the US. How do you do the bookkeeping on this? So after a year of buying back 40 Billion a month you have another half a trillion of someone's debt. The people of the US? Anyways I read two in depth articles in the NY Times I could find nothing to explain where this money actually comes from and how it will show up on the books. I know I am dumb as can be.

Poor Bernancke looked so burnt out, I think It's kind of deep for him too.

Then we have our next President Obama our Second President Obama where in finally hope and change
will be revealed. I better keep my head down avoid eye contact. Sorry world I have no idea what you are up to.

Locally in small town California San Rafael as a passenger who grew up in Cleveland tells me 'this is paradise' I love his good spirit and happiness with a sense of place. As he speaks I look out on the landscape through my windshield at the intersection of 3rd Street and Union Street and can see the sweep of pavement and cars from the Montecito Shopping Center on my left Rite Aid PetsRUs Trader Joes and then Whole Foods on my right with.... bad traffic and the freeway ahead It's Ok Guy breathe Paradise. Breathe.

Number 9. Yes. Well do you have any solutions? I still believe in Rock and Roll and music in general. I can't quite figure out why we haven't figured out that the destruction of the Earth is bad for us. The difficulty is there are so many people more practical than I am and they can see that SMART progress that Clean and Green developement like the 600 units proposed near the civic center is no problem that actually is an improvement according to the Marin Bicycle Coalition or Sustainable Marin.

I would like to see one tree planted for every 8 parking spaces ...

Start packing it up the anxious librarian at 4:46PM tells me. 'That's what I am doing.' I say, as I try to wrap this up.

As my friend Ron says, Traffic.. that's not the guy in front of you or the guy behind you. It's you if you weren't there there wouldn't be any traffic. I do get it. Time to go out into the world again.

The Persistent Blogger

I wish I could be a lot more dedicated. Does anyone ever think like me that some how 'I'
am responsible for the world? Is that the sign of a someone whose self importance is way too high or is that some elemental sign of being alive?

 Computers are not good for me these days. I am having 'EMF' sensitivity issues as I amy have mentioned somewhere before. Right now working on the computer from the San Anselmo Library is a healthier option than my own Macbook.

 Obama Romney... wrong direction for America.

 Ya' never know everything might just be working out.

  This Global Warming stuff based on our addiction to our cool cars and getting around. How about planting trees and personal conservationn efforts.

   I am harder on Obama than Romney because Obama purports to be the guy who is 'hip' to the 'planet in peril' as he called our world in 2008. It's just amazing to me how someone cannot see how absolutely necessary a transformation of the planet is required and maybe begin to see that all the right steps lead to positive outcomes, as in ... independent business means more money staying local and more freedom, people finding more happiness in their own community, makes their community a cooler place.

  Om every step has to be taken.. every step... no magic wands. I am harder on myself than anyone and I know that ain't a particularly good thing. Still looking forward to a trip to Oregon as soon as I finish off a few more medical bills... still dealing with the kidney stone finances from Spring time.

Gore Vidal

I heard about Gore Vidal's passing today. Last night I was up as usual in some ungodly hour reading his historical novel 'Empire'. I thought maybe he had died a few years back. 'Empire' is a world of wealth and deceit of media empires and the purchasing of political power, America's duty to rule the world etc. All set in the around the turn of the last century from the 19th to the 20th. I am finding it really a good read.

 Up in Oregon my brother in law has a book on the shelf called 'The Second American Revolution' I was looking forward to taking another read at that. It's a collection of Vidal's essays, no real revolutionary outlines etc just a man with a critical take on the directions of political stupidity has taken over the years.

 To see Gore Vidal on Dick Cavett or wherever he managed to make an appearance on TV in the 70's or 80's was to get a chance to hear someone say something rarely heard -- poking, probing, mocking our Imperial Empire.

Don't rush off ...

I am still in California. If the Amtrak train leaving Emeryville at 10:07 PM had not been sold out I would be in Eugene in the vicinity of goats and chickens and Family, home cooking etc.... There's  a story here but due to time constraints we must move forward.

 Senator Diane Feinstein wrote me a letter today. I just discovered it, glanced at it now, it is in response to my letter prompted by numerous reports of the Fukushima reactor being in a extremely precarious state. I am sure she sent this letter out to many people and even though my letter was (approx.) three months ago It's nice that she finally responded.

 I'll have the full  letter at the bottom. The letter triggers thoughts even without reading the full contents yet. My thoughts on sending the letters, 3, one to Congressperson Woolsey one to Senator Boxer one to Senator Feinstein. I felt as if there was a wall between myself and our elected officials maybe it was just their website design. Read all about their accomplishments here... Impressive. oh you want to write a letter sure pick a category... Hmmm? Impending Nuclear Disaster, that category was not available. Anyways I should never be the one to judge someone for being a little late with communication, thanks to Senator Feinstein and her staff. Though on the other hand it's your job to be the people's representative and you get paid healthily for that honor.  I am sitting in the San Rafael Library (1 hour) I have already used up 27 minutes.

 I think about the Marin Community or the Eugene Community or the Facebook Community the American Community and I wonder do we need to elect representatives from our Community to represent our needs and desires and questions to deal with our elected Representatives? I've thought of this on and off I've thought of a flat out alternative Congress, a mirror so that the real Congress can get a sense of what the Real People really want. A congress chosen in open conventions all across the country where everybody sits down in a two or three day event and we meet and hang out and keep rubbing elbows and by the end of the event we keep nudging our best people forward and we vote and voila. Of course we have a great music in the evenings and that can give you an idea of what kind of Party we might form.

  On a simpler level I was thinking how maybe we could use someone to volunteer to harness our letters and our intentions. It's one thing to get really upset about something but really hard to lock in and diligently follow through. I guess this is on all of our minds how do we come together and speak as one. We all have our ideas and our unique points of view.

   It was back on another depressing Earth Day a couple of months ago where I was doing absolutely nothing special for the Earth at all  (I can't honestly remember - maybe I drove cab) But one good thing happened that day as I walked down B Street in San Rafael. I stopped to say hello to the fellow with the big white beard who runs the Tamalpais Furniture shop that features furniture made from recycled wood. The man makes his feelings known about the Earth and I think we were both a bit sad. We looked at the broad perspective of our civilization and he made these observations. That the reason we can't make a change is we are all caught up in 'survival', paying for the house, the kids, everyone's stuck. He called it our baggage everyone is carrying baggage he said, I thought of it on the political realm to as to what we've inherited. What our parents taught us. What we have instilled in ourselves, our political perspective I think the point the was making there was we carry this weight, maybe it's just my point because my memory is not good enough to tell you what someone else said... Finding a way to do something for our Earth it's harmed by our insistence in looking for the point of who to blame. Somehow we must find the faith to take it slower.

  Here is Senator Feinstein's letter to me: Dear Guy:

Thank you for contacting me with you concerns regarding the nuclear crisis in Japan. I am following this matter extremely closely, and please be assured that I will do all I can to ensure that the United States provides assistance to the Japanese in repairing the damage to their nuclear facilities.

As you know, the earthquake and tsunami that struck Japan on March 11, 2011 caused a systemic failure at the Fukushima Dai-ichi Nuclear Power Station.  The tsunami knocked out backup power systems that were needed to cool the reactors at the plant, causing several of them to undergo fuel melting, hydrogen explosions, and radioactive releases.  Japan requested assistance from the United States several days after the earthquake and tsunami.

Please know that the United States and other countries have provided, and continue to offer, advice and equipment to the Japanese to deal with the nuclear crisis.  Both the Department of Energy and the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC) sent advisory teams and equipment to Japan during the immediate aftermath of the disaster at the request of the Japanese government.  The U.S. Department of Defense provided high-pressure water pumps and fire trucks to cool the reactors and contain the damage, as well as the use of Global Hawk surveillance drones and evacuation and medical support.  Additionally, the United States military provided more than 2 million gallons of water, 189 tons of food, 11,960 gallons of fuel, and 100 tons of relief supplies.

Like you, I remain concerned that the buildings and spent fuel at Fukushima, especially the fuel housed within the damaged Unit 4 reactor building, may pose a safety risk.  On April 26, 2012, I wrote the attached letter calling on then-Chairman Gregory Jaczko of the NRC to assess the current conditions of the Fukushima nuclear facility and prescribe steps that would enhance ongoing stabilization efforts.

In response to my letter, the NRC has assured me that the facility owner, Tokyo Electric Power Company, has taken the necessary steps, including the installation of steel and concrete reinforcement, to ensure that the Unit 4 reactor building is structurally sound and capable of withstanding future seismic events.  According to the NRC, the current instrumentation in Unit 4 is fully functional, effectively monitoring water levels, and alerting operators to any abnormal conditions in the spent fuel pool.  As recovery efforts continue in Japan, I will continue to closely monitor NRC's assessment of the Fukushima site and ensure that NRC implements necessary safety improvements in the United States. 

As Chairman of the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Energy and Water Development, which oversees the NRC, I am working to ensure that our nation's nuclear industry and regulators learn all that can be learned from this disaster. Please be assured that I am committed to making nuclear power facilities in the United States as safe as possible.

Once again, thank you for writing. If you have any additional questions or concerns, please contact my Washington, D.C. office at (202) 224-3841, or visit my website at www.feinstein.senate.gov.  Best regards.

Following is the text of the letter sent by Senator Feinstein to Gregory Jaczko, Chairman of the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission:

April 26, 2012

The Honorable Gregory Jaczko

Chairman

U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission

Washington, DC 20555

Dear Chairman Jaczko:

I am writing to request your assessment of the current conditions at the Fukushima Daiichi site.  The buildings damaged in the March 2011 earthquake and tsunami are still performing critical safety functions, and I am concerned these buildings may not have the structural integrity to withstand future natural disasters.  While I appreciate that Japanese regulators and industry are making herculean efforts to address safety risks, I believe it would be helpful for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC) to validate that the most prudent actions are being taken.

The Fukushima reactor spent fuel pools are located about 60 feet above ground.  Further building damage due to ongoing seismic activity could potentially breach the spent fuel pools, prevent the adequate cooling of the spent fuel, and create a more dangerous situation.

The unit 4 reactor was shut down for refueling just before the earthquake and tsunami, and extremely hot nuclear fuel had recently been moved into the unit 4 spent fuel pool.  As a result, the contents of this pool are more radioactive and produce more thermal heat than the other Fukushima spent fuel pools.  The unit 4 building hosting this pool was damaged by the earthquake and tsunami, and a subsequent hydrogen explosion destroyed the roof and sections of several walls.

I am particularly concerned that damage caused by the earthquake, tsunami, and hydrogen explosion could threaten efforts to quickly and safely unload the unit 4 spent fuel pool.  I understand that Tokyo Electric Power Company (TEPCO) has recognized this risk and plans to begin removing the contents of the spent fuel pools after performing additional work to reduce site contamination.  I am aware that TEPCO's inspection of the unit 4 reactor building determined that structural reinforcements were not needed, but extra building supports were added as a precautionary measure.  I also understand that although TEPCO determined that no significant damage occurred to the unit 4 spent fuel pool or the nuclear fuel, some building debris has fallen into the pool, which could complicate future efforts to remove fuel.

Japanese leaders face unprecedented circumstances at the Fukushima site.  They have utilized their substantial expertise to address many safety concerns to date, but the situation is so uncertain that I feel the NRC's independent assessment of conditions at unit 4 would be beneficial.  I would greatly appreciate it if you could describe your evaluation of the structural integrity of the damaged unit 4 building, the need for additional structural reinforcement, and the ability of the building to withstand future natural disasters.  Regarding the unit 4 spent fuel pool, please assess the adequacy of the cooling system and water level monitoring equipment, and evaluate whether the unit 4 spent fuel pool could be unloaded sooner than the current timeline.  Lastly, please describe any steps you would offer for consideration that could enhance ongoing efforts to stabilize the Fukushima Daiichi site.

I am pleased that NRC and Japanese officials have developed a cooperative working relationship.  I thank you for your efforts to monitor and assist our Japanese friends in the wake of these tragic events, and I look forward to hearing from you regarding this important request.  I believe that the NRC's technical expertise provides a valuable resource for this precarious situation.  Let me know if I can provide assistance in obtaining additional information you might need to respond to this request.  If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me in my Washington office.

Sincerely yours,


  Dianne Feinstein
         United States Senator

Local Energy

 If I was a homeowner and or paid an electric bill I would opt out of Marin Clean Energy.  I don't get that transferring the money from what used to go to PG&E now going to Shell North America (despite  their claims of where the electrons are generated} is an improvement or that it is '1OO percent green' as the ad campaign says. To have dedicated solar farms somewhere in California for the environmentally concerned people of Marin, but not in Marin is not my idea of 'green'.  We have plenty of roofs in Marin waiting for solar panels. Why should we fill some remote corner of California with acres of solar collectors dedicated to the people of Marin. I think this is what they call 'Greenwash'. Don't listen to me though - do some investigating yourself.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         http://solartimes.org/pdf/qtr2_2012.pdf#page=3                               

July 4th

If we aim our arrows to the high place. If we set our course to the high road. Then we may pass through the coming transition with minimum suffering. This country has the power and wisdom to handle a second or even a third revolution somewhere far off down the road hopefully centuries ahead. This is my belief. The transition is both a path of discovery and of survival. Our entire human civilization coating the planet is caught in a burned out system of extraction of wealth and resources serving the needs of the few without regard to human community nor ecological community. We are going to figure out how to live without destroying the foundation of Life itself. The powers of the State and of the Corporations are empty shells when they stand in the way of the well being of individuals families and community. The course we need is what lies right ahead of us, we can choose and we must choose community. It is not a Left vs. Right notion it is people putting their feet on the ground where they live. (Recognize that I likely have as little clue or as much as the next person, that I do have an urge to flee and seek higher ground wherever that might be. I, however, turn my words towards myself and I must listen to what I know in my heart, as well as listen to the voices of my community that have been speaking with a power of the present wherever I meet them.} Living without enemies is our path, who really requires someone else to blame. Let the transition be an open welcome to all. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness is our heritage, it will not fade away, we refuse to let it. Happy 4th of July. I know it's a mess '.. the rent has not been paid in years, it's even worse than it appears, we will survive.' What if our attitude could guide us to a soft landing...

Father's Day

My Dad never cared too much for events like Father's Days or even Mother's Days he would say something a bit sarcastic about a holiday to further the greeting card industry or something like that.

Here it's been a few years passing now since his old body finally wore out and his good spirit moved on.

I'll always have a Father as long as I am living. As much as I was frustrated and felt confined by being my father's son. Guy W. Meyer, Jr. burdened by my Father's indefatigable passion for 'The New World' which I managed to internalize with some grumpy dissatisfaction --- call in the shrink and lay me back on the couch and I'll tell you the story.... but, never mind.

I just want to Thank my Dad again specifically I remember a walk in back of our old house 'the parsonage' in Harrisville, Rhode Island. We lived alongside a rather large and beautiful Mill Pond, it was more like a lake. We moved there from Maine when I was
going into the first grade. The back yard by the lake had tangles of wild Concord Grapes, I could sit by the lake and watch sunfish, perch and pickerel, and might occasionally see turtles and water snakes. Probably during that first year Dad took me for a walk, out past the field in the back yard and into the woods, where he would turn over an old log on my behalf and show me some salamander or newt which seemed pretty cool, very magical. I remember he found some small sapling recognizing the leaves he pulled it right out of the ground. He took out a jackknife and scraped the roots. Here smell this he said, and I did. Wow! It smelled like Root Beer, 'Sassafras.' he said. That's all. Sassafras. One of the original magic ingredients in Root Beer. Dad had a deep I'll call it 'common sense' appreciation of nature. I thank him for this memory.

Dad entered Harvard University at the age of 16. The way I heard it or remember it from him was they wanted him. It was a different world then. I believe it might have been 1929 he was a kid in Waltham Massachusetts with a Dad who was a stockbroker who commuted into Boston. They had chickens in the backyard, there were lots of woods around Waltham, he was part of the 'piety corner' gang. Piety Corner was some physical space. He was an active kid who was an accomplished wrestler at least he told me he was. Somewhere in his first year or two at Waltham High School he decided to organize some kind of speaker forum. He took it upon himself to do all that was necessary and the school administration permitted him to go forward
I am not sure how many speakers he brought in but he went for the most controversial, he took great pride in the memory of bringing in a Nazi Party official as well as a Communist Party member. Who knows who else he brought in? His notion was to
let your enemies speak, not only your enemies just anyone and not be afraid and you get to ask them questions. He said that Harvard people heard about his year at Waltham High and wanted him. He was not a shy kid and had no problem being the youngster at Harvard... the Mandolin Club was one of his fondest memories. He had one year at Harvard before 'the Wall caved in' the great stock market crash and he was forced to leave, luckily finding a job in an enameling factory on the banks of the Charles River. His response to 'terrorists' many years later, was that we, the US, should invite their top guy to come and give them the opportunity to speak their mind even in the halls of Congress. That's who he was. He felt somehow that you shouldn't be afraid of someone know matter who, let them talk respectfully. See what they have to say. Better than building a wall of hatred and then set your army against theirs.

I could have finally dropped Junior from my name after his death. I would have been just Guy Meyer, maybe I still may at some point. I like knowing history. I appreciate the story of my parents and their parents and the scraps of knowledge of my ancestors.

American HealthCare

This is really a huge issue perhaps the biggest issue to be dealt with n the next 20 years except for the economy in general and both of these major social/political issues need to be dealt with in a very transparent and bold way. Neither of these issues are being addressed this way presently.

Both of these issues demand a foresight that precludes, that makes a higher value to protecting the rights and values of he coming generations than the simple satisfaction of the economic and comfort desires of those of us right now. A foresight that precludes immediate rewards based on a responsibility to not have the needs of this current generation take away the opportunity
of the next generation.

There are a great more votes to be counted right now if we make sure the people right now haves what they deem necessary if we describe what we are facing now to be a 'disaster' that can only be addressed by mortgaging the future of children yet unborn than we forfeit our future in our fear and avoidance of personal responsibility.

The basics of Obama Care is an approach that closes our eyes and hold our nose and says this shit is acceptable. Obama Care guarantees that more wealth will be extracted from the poor and middle class, call it the 99% if you want. The Insurance companies must pick up the tab and we guarantee the Insurance companies. The insurance companies will of course have to raise rates continually they will be stuck in a battle with the government as t how those who cannot actually afford American HeathCare receive American Health Care. The insurance companies know that the game is on... they will now be doing a bigger business than ever ca-ching but how to keep the whole thing afloat. When thousands of humans want $10,000 month care for Psoriasis, Blood Pressure, Cancer, heart Disease they must pay for that care. What is the problem with American health Care that isn't there with European Health Care or Canadian Health Care. What i see is a culture of profiteering, there is no sector of business in the US that get's away with such exorbitant profit margins. There is no more perfect product to sell someone than one that if they can't obtain they will suffer and possibly die. So you want to buy this or do you like illness and death. CaChing! Allright good career move. If you are in medicine you supply something into the medicine circulatory system you are going to make more money than any other comparative business ..this being America. The whole concept is called Insurance, you see everyone must buy insurance and when everyone must buy insurance than naturally as it is done everywhere you look. Everything becomes inflated. So Walgreen's will charge me $166.00 for two prescription medicines Tamsulosin and Ondansetron two innocuous medicines that help you pee more and tell me when I question there pricing that's why people have insurance. If I go to an independent Pharmacy in San Anselmo I am told the same prescriptions written by the same doctor costs $35. When I need an Xray in Marin County of my Kidney Stone I am given the standard price with your insurance card. $500 something all right you don't have insurance then you get a %40 discount. Thank you for that but this world of Insurance is a pass the buck shell game that is not sustainable.
My friend a Doctor at a prestigious hospital in the Bay Area who specializes in Sports Medicine. Here have this tube of high quality 'topical pain relief creme' why thanks Bob the box says $320 for the 4 fluid oz supply. that's pretty generous of you giving me this don't I owe you something.'No don't worry about that that's just billed to someone's insurance...' Ah that's how it goes.

It's called Obama Care and many people think it's a necessary first step. At least we will have care for everyone. Republicans famously according to many sources think you should just die. The problem is that compromise with such a distorted system, with such built inequities and the skills of wealth transference from your pockets to the medical industry is creating a system that will corrupt us all in the name of health. The popular wisdom is that the Democrats lead by President Obama were forced into this system by obstinate Republicans. The truth is that the Democrats lead by President Obama never had a clear vision of what was needed nor the courage to fight and to explain to all Americans the common sense need for an effective social safety net. My friends find endless entertainment in vilifying Republicans and there is no doubt that there is much of humanity in the Republican ranks that will give many a person reason to laugh out loud or to think Jeeze n hope this person never is in charge of anything. The problem is humanity will drive you crazy and I can find the nuts on the Left that I will gladly pass on their prescription for what they deem to be progress too. We are all human, the absurd Polarization of the Left Right masses, 'our gang' its all just one giant obstacle of making our way through and having something in place that allows us to have some slim reason whether you you might lean Left or Right or would like to feel Centered to have some faith that our children can have a better world.

Just a few days before the arrival of my Kidney Stone tried to outline my idea of an American Health Care System that was bare bones of the People, by the People, for the People. That was going to require humans to commit themselves to a much larger degree than my generation and generations in the past have of taking care of their own health. It will be a low-input low technology high health system with a lot of participation and no millionaires. It should be seen as an American Accomplishment not a Right. It would not preclude any other health care providers systems and plans that could be far more extensive and in-depth should be readily available for all those who choose. For ordinary Americans we would have something in our American Community and that can see us from our youth to our final days with dignity and pride. We could create a generation of health workers Doctors and Nurses who are an esteemed part of our community and do not need to live the life of a Millionaire.

We are a society that invests in illness to create wealth, we destroy our lands, our water, we ignore the warning signs of disease in our youth. The one lesson that we must learn and as we fight for economic survival and environmental health and Health Care is that Life is connected and when we do the right thing on any level in society it helps everything. We are all connected.

Meditate on that...

I stepped into the Aroma coffee shop it's 9:30 PM. I have forced myself out of bed. What was I doing in bed? Well at about 7:30 PM I was tired and the with the help of a little more 'Percoset'AKA 'Oxycodone' in my system (legal medicine for kidney stone) and my brain was fogging and I ended up horizontal, then an hour later in disgust and dissatisfaction I decide to get up and out. Get some coffee. Get to work. And am blue, yes plenty blue, and as someone recently noted it's not just that the inner dialogue that goes on inside this brain is a one sided blah blah' Why can't you figure it out?' It seems to me that it's a monologue and just that voice of frustration, well it gets the upper hand, particularly when it's night time and you are alone. So you have to move on get out of yourself a bit.

So when I walked into Cafe Aroma there is the lovely ____ ___ I'll leave her name out of this a woman with grey hair, who I have known for years and it's sad to see her homeless. Which is an assumption on my part. Sometimes I am a little defensive with all the homeless in California. I don't have much money and am not one to invite someone to my small studio apartment very easily it has happened once in two years and I guess I survived that OK but don't expect much from me.

So she greets me and maybe she reads my mind instantly and knows what my story is about and she says to me. 'You need to go and get a good meditation on what you are missing.' That's a guess.. I had to get her to repeat it a few times trying to understand her. Well i thanked her and new that even if she was only wildly guessing and just threw something at me to catch me off guard.. so i wouldn't make any inquiries about her lifestyle - because I know she doesn't like to acknowledge her own difficult situation. I thank her and ponder as I stand there thinking about Coffee at 10PM and what am I missing? I know that like the youthful kid kid I am ; ) ... I can do that. I can fire up some clear high powered meditation and reconnect my heart to AllLife again. Anyways a part of me believes that I can and I decide to get a Carrot Juice and a Chocolate Cake. I notice that Buddy Owen the legendary blues bulldog of Fairfax is playing next door at the Broken Drum.

I stop to check in with Buddy Owen and even fantasize about him inviting me up to play a tune. Elvis Johnson was their tonight and the bass man whose name I am fretting but the band was packing up. They want us out early he said, not much of a crowd,
t make matters worse Buddy pinched his finger in a mic stand. Just not a good night. So I come back up to write and I can not penetrate one molecule of HTML in my LIFESIGNSPHOTO website. I ponder all the attempts at figuring out how I am going to reconnect with my community as far as making a living. Remembering the brief conversation last night in the alley at the 4th Street Tavern where Honey Dust was playing and I had smoked some weed and had a beer, despite the continual Oxycodone intake, and my brief sharing with a kindred spirit old guy but still young, talking about how hard it becomes to just start the next business. Something about hauling all one's past failures around with you. Well we both recognized in each other that we knew to much of what that backstage crap from the past ( some of it maybe just the voice of wisdom.) Just don't stick your neck out again because it's not fun for anyone when you can't follow through. Yet somehow I just had to say Lord have mercy we sure no how to make it impossible for ourselves with constant doubting. That don't work. Life only takes place in the present. Life never stopped when you fell off the horse the last time. We are only going to be up on that wave again and again in continual rising and riding let the falls and failures go. Don't drag them around, it's an illusion. if you've got debt still to be paid off do your best. We are alive, life is moving fast, generations like waves move forward and time is limited. You can't worry you can't fear you have to fire it up. This Life this one Life is still on nothing is over, don't worry about the figuring it out.
Don't worry about the 'success' there is only one way to respect the Truth of Life. That is to accept it. Life is a Ripple of Present
a nonstop eternal movement it is Simple as can be and yet seems to demand incredible courage though a Child can live in it day after day.

We remain poised at the turning point of a great civilization that needs to find it's place with nature. It's not impossible, cynicism pessimism maybe we can use that as a tool. If we were sure that there was absolutely no hope. Then we wouldn't worry
about failing after all It won't make any difference, and if we tried to fire up the next nutty idea or a simple one. Maybe the time is right to get some traction. I still envision a Red White and Blue solution for our Country. All the polarity of Wall building sort of makes me ill. I respect the 'conservative' position to lives issues. I respect the 'liberal' perspectives to lives issues. There are lots of ways we can find disagreement in this world some topics are hard to decide.

Like the development of LucasFilms Grady Ranch up in Lucas Valley. Could a compromise have been achieved? Will the development due to come in be far worse than George's plans. Will we be facing this again again across the US. How can this community be against this project when it means so many jobs? There is a mind set and there are those who want to pack cranky 'environmentalists' in a box and point fingers at you. You are a NIMBY you are a selfish misguided human how dare you rethink that protecting your neighborhood is more important than jobs. I don't know all the back story to the Lucas development. I will stand behind any neighborhood anywhere that feels the need to stand up and defend he integrity of their community against development projects'. Just like the misguided Keystone TarSands Pipeline project that set off the unions in this country. The bottom line for me is the thousands of farms and properties running from the canadian border to New Orleans. Where eminent domain would take effect because a foreign corporation ( it doesn't make any difference if it was a USA corporation or a non-profit or a Federal Government project, no citizen should be forced off his land no matter what the greater cause. ) This should be a bedrock right of all American citizens. I think of it as a Keystone to what will be the significance of the Second American Revolution as I/we dream it into manifesting before our eyes.

Great works and patience are needed. I urge humans to try to find work outside of the corporate realm take a chance. Small medium sized what the heck even big independent businesses, we need to keep our money flowing through that channel.

Allright, back to the blues..

GoodNight

Be Strong

Wooooahhh!
JUst looking for a word.

My dear friend Mali who runs the Bongkot Thai Restaurant on 4th Street said.. 'Be Strong' to me in her parting words wednesday night when I needed some good food and soul sustenance. I had told her about the Kidney Stone. It really had been in a state of overall calm since Sunday Afternoon's ER visit.

I have been taking Vicodin and now Percoset. I thought earlier today maybe at one moment that it had passed I felt pretty good for a few minutes. Now I am dealing with what I can hope and pray is the final passing into the bladder. I don't know. It might not do what I wish it to do... be over tonight.

I thank her for those words again. Be Strong. Sometimes we have to be reminded, it's good to hear that challenge. It's not a given -- for some of us we hope, we aspire. To pass the courage challenge. So that's what I am working on. Try to do some mind over matter. Maybe it is lightening up.

I heard Emmy Lou Harris's story only a few weeks ago about needing some suffering to season up. I don't know where I heard it somewhere on the web no doubt. She wrote a letter when she was quite young introducing herself to Pete Seeger and asking for his suggestions as to how best a young woman could get some life experiences that would help her be able to be more authentic when singing real deep bluesy material. Pete wrote back and said 'Please Emmy Lou do not run out and hop on a freight train .. suffering catches up with all of us'

On a positive note here and that is most important in this very positive if we allow it year 2012. Some of you know Gabe the friendly carpenter who hangs out a lot in San Anselmo who may seem homeless, but a good guy, who somehow gets by. Not Gabe the blues guitarist) We talked in front of the town hall on some beautiful day. Probably I brought up the subject but somehow he went on at length about the Human Brain and how it is divided in half a Left and Right and most of you know that there are some generalizations made about artist vs. engineer in the Left Brain Right Brain division though I suspect that our brains are being used to the best of our abilities. Losing my thread the Percoset in my bloodstream is gained a bit of a higher profile... Maybe I am under the influence but in General I think our country is getting the short end of the stick because every one is so So deep into castigation instead of synthesis. You are all dumb because look at that dumb idiot. HawHaw Haw!

Can I make myself clearer? ( ) The cliff to the Left looks as dangerous as the one to the Right. Free the Center and hold tight. Red White and Blue unite. DeCentralized slowed down USA where we got plenty of music everyone gets some kind of home, slow down the immigration tide (I know it's slowing already. Good!)

'Unlimited growth is the philosophy of Cancer' ... American farmer

Cancer is where we are at. It's not good . remission is good. Tyranny isn't good and it comes from Left and Right. Wrapped in insecurity. Just being good at passing laws is not necessarily mean you are doing the people of California any favors. Congressional Candidate Jared Huffman is proud of the 60 bills he sponsored or co-sponsored during his 6 years as an assemblyman. I mean if we democratically keep passing laws that alter your 'Freedom' that's not creating a tyranny is it?

I was a T Party sympathizer and even declared myself to be a T Party dude at that moment . I still believe that a Conservative approach is needed right now as opposed to let the Government put another million people on the payroll. Don't be over simplistic Guy! Sorry you are right don't be over simplistic but that gives you an idea where I am coming from. For some historical perspective for you young folks I twice voted for Ross Perot the 3rd party candidate who was at about 33% in the polls in June before what was it 1992?... That means that fear was rampant in the Democrats and Republicans, he could could have been our President. Ross was a businessman who was against the Globalization of the American Economy pretty much against the stuff that Mitt Romney made his millions on. Buying out companies looting their resources, shipping jobs overseas. Ross warned of 'the Giant Sucking Sound' as he described it as we loosened up all the barriers for shipping factories overseas and Bill Clinton loosened up the Banking Industries so all kinds of money was being made on speculation on anything,

That's enough for tonight if you made it here thanks for your patience. The Percoset has kicked in enough or the pain has relented enough that I can probably lay down and not have to make you listen to my Under the INfluence ramble any longer.
Feel free to tell me off in any way.

Simple Humans in a Complex World

Maybe I'm not simple..maybe I am complex. Overall I just want simple things, food shelter, good health, human connections dare I say love. OK I said it. More music Guy, admit you want more music and outdoor rock festivals of a small and friendly type. Yes I admit that, where people all can share some happiness and no one wants to talk politics.. That's right. I just need to establish the bottom line, my bottom line. There are always a few more wants.

So we simple humans have created this system of money exchange and it kind of works it has some self-regulating qualities, some aspects that give a human some freedom even particularly when we have our life's work set up in some practical manner
that gives decent service to your customers and we in return get a good flow of currency back. The problem is ..yes Guy? The problem as I see it (through the fog) is we are all too often willing to sacrifice
nature/The Earth for our sources of Money.

It is just way too obvious that we undermine or put it more bluntly trash our environment for a few dollars more.

Now all of us consume lots of life to stay alive. That's the way it is. 600 Billion of us exfoliating the Planet as I've noticed
and heard some of you comment with observations to that effect. The thing is we all don't really want to destroy our good thing.

Yet we all are caught up in it. I was thinking yesterday in the waiting room at MGH's ER. As I was trying to figure it out as to how we could have a really great Health Plan for all of us in this Country as I was pretty much in a world of pain and using up another of my allotted ER visits. (See the previous post coincidentally) My thoughts were that Health Care should be something of great pride in our nation. Our Health Care system currently in my opinion with or without Obamacare is on an unsustainable track. The whole process of excessive profit taking from all those who have their hands in the cookie jar, Insurance Companies, Medical Supply houses, Pharmaceuticals... plus us Humans and all our unhealthy lifestyles.

We have to turn towards health. It's like all the best solutions, we have to make an effort in our own lives. What about the cigarettes and alcohol? What about the cheap gas station food fast food crap.? If the people particularly the people who really think Health Care without limits is our right can't begin to step up and make some changes clearly in your own best interest
then it just adds to the Unsustainability of the whole proposition.

We all have to turn towards Health. I believe even my Rock and Roll Community here in California. We all need to be challenged, every kid in America do you really have to join your buddies all the time. No you can say not tonight. I don't think so. There's cracks of perhaps unfounded optimism breaking through all the time. It's only when we really begin to believe ..that we can have the world we want. That we just might have the power, if we use our own lives as the force, as in our Health Care as in our Environment, that we have the power if we can find it inside.

I went 8 hours without a Vicodin today and was sort of hoping and still am that maybe this alleged Kidney Stone has dissolved. The pain came back but the Vicodin seems to have helped. I probably could have spent the past two hours focusing on Stormy Monday Blues and trying to be able to play a coherent guitar lead, which is not a skill I have, yet. Instead of writing this ramble.


I sat with Joe LoCoco in my apartment getting a great guitar lesson from the man mid week and then out of the blue the Sunday MGH ER visit. The only once a month Peri's Blues Jam slipped away. Even tonight I might have considered getting out to the open Mic, in Fairfax despite my problems but now that the Vicodin is back in my system. No. Last week at the open Mic my erudite, friend Bowie says to me. '..well Guy you going to embarrass yourself again tonight' That's sort of a Fairfax way of saying 'break-a-leg'. I told him 'maybe.' At the end of the night the great Billy D host of the open Mic says to me. 'You see Guy, Peri's is your stadium.' I made some noise on my guitar. Tonight here i sit . It's OK.

So much to talk about in this world.

Left Brain Meet Right Brain

Try synthesis...
The only path through this mess is to quit deriding each other. Republican! Liberal! Maybe everyone on the Planet has something to say and diversity of opinion is OK.
I would be completely OK with the Supreme Court saying no to the HealthCare law.
Completely OK with a new plan that provided all citizens with low-input (natural medicine) aka access to alternative medicine maybe on a monthly basis starting at 14 years of age with say 10 visits to an ER and 5 days of Hospitalization over a lifetime. Anybody who wants to upgrade can purchase the plan of their choice.

Nobody has to buy a plan from any private company.

Monday is Open Mic Night

Never any pressure for me. Go have a good time Guy and don't worry.
Thats what I say.

Reporting from San Rafael...

Hey friends.
Almost kind of a joke 'the peaceful revolution' at least the way the world looks like now. My world here in San Rafael, California up in the Wilkins Hotel on beautiful 4th street.. it's all right.

The picture up above at this moment is a picture of 125th Street in NYC, (Is that MLK Boulevard?) looking East from the elevated Subway waiting for the commuter rail to get me up to Beacon --about a year ago right about now. Last winter and Spring in NY this winter and Spring here in Marin.

I think St Patrick's day makes a pretty good Earth Day everybody dressed in Green. Drunk on the juice of the barley, that was me a couple of days ago. I don't think I can get away with that anymore but the Fairfax Brewfest was quite an occasion.

My office sucks. The computer is on my bed I am on the bed, this is no way to think and get comfortable. I am fighting off the first signs of a cold and it better stay away. I lost my little point and shoot camera again. It's disappeared a time or two before and reappeared so I am trying to be patient and philosophical but it's very frustrating. I just don't need to give my brain anymore ammunition to start getting on my case again. Just relax brain and test out your typing dexterity.

As roll through the seasons of my 60th year... shhh.. don't tell the women. Haven't I given up yet? Nevermind it's just Guy and his own fate. 'The Peaceful Revolution' what does that mean? I always believed that we had the power to see our way through the changes that we will have to face. I have become somewhat less optimistic in general faced with my own inabilities it seems to get engaged with this world. But... I still believe. It is what it is. That's what they say.

Tell me Buddy do you know if Belichik shook the hand of Coughlin the Giant's head coach after the super bowl? Maybe he cleaned up the Patriot's Karma enough with that move.

Seems to me there is something about Karma and that get's back to 'The Peaceful Revolution' somebody else must have seen that photo of the Tornado from Hell from a few weeks back. I am just wondering about our own Karma on the Planet and when we all decide to try to right the balance if not for our lives but for the lives of the coming generations. I think of 'the movement' the great planetary shift, the fantasy, mirage of humans doing the right thing. What would that be oh wise one? My cynical inner voice chimes in. What is the first step?

My own personal revolution -- everybody do their own thing. Once or twice a week I don't turn the key on my automobile. I walk, maybe I am lazy, maybe I could take a bus maybe there is no point maybe maybe... Who knows .. the movement you need is on your shoulders, as the Beatles sang on Hey Jude. Enjoy taking it easy, why run around everyday of the week? So there you have it.. it's 'a movement'. Marble Us.

Reproductive Rights

Trying to read my last post.
Short attention span couldn't read it. My own negativity is hard to listen to.

I live in my own world. It's a connectivity world united with all Life and it's just me trying to make sense of it
as best I can. I have good friends who are 'Liberal'. I have good friends who are 'Conservative'. I likely will soon disagree with someone once we get talking most likely about things neither one of us know very well.

I think that we Humans and our Cars are the problem. The number 1 problem. How do we detach ourselves from their gas-powered mobility and find away to comfortably get around without one. When do we perceive ourselves as holding the Power to alter our destiny?

I view the world differently than most of my fellow humans. Maybe I'll fall in line someday.

For instance Reproductive Rights. Forgive me dear women of the world if you can but I perceive Abortion to be a violent act
that frees someone of an unwanted Life that one is neither prepared to or simply you prefer not to deal with. I don't see it as a particularly healthy solution. If one perceives in the unity of Life then maybe it needs a greater amount of contemplation before one takes these steps, or maybe a greater level of care beforehand. Either way I can see how someone who believes that you are taking the life of an unborn child and ending it might not feel good about supporting that act with their tax dollars. I don't want my tax dollars spent on Abortions. That's your business if you feel the need.

Crazy

I was working on the tune 'Crazy' just figured you better know this tune in case some day some new Patsy Cline comes along,
I need to be ready.

Facebook frightening place for me. Yes there can be so many good things to see that people share. Surprizing good things
and then all the political stuff which I may agree with, or sort of agree which are so simplistic that you have to disagree just for
the fact that you made it through elementary school and a better argument is needed to make your case that Republicans all are bad and all democrats are good. Talking simplistic but always. I see the positive. Still all our fun takes place on Private Property the property of a young man named Zuckerberg or Jones it doesn't matter and he is about to become rich by billions and all his loyal workers with stock options are going to get rich and all of us busy shedding our likes and dislikes our rebellious notions and our herd mentality there to be reviewed by some power some Homeland Security force of the future... it's OK herd, we are All one.

Still shivers me timbers the path Obama is driving the nation, but we are a good herd and we can drive ourselves -- over the cliff.

Still he seems to think we can worry about the deficit, the debt later - first, the government has another shot in the arm for the economy. Let's print more money... basically he is not borrowing from China, he is borrowing from you from us from our children ands now we are probably looking at a 30 to 40 year time frame to invoke national austerity that maybe as painful as Greece to begin to get our debt paid back, but That won't be Obama .. he will continue to spend like there is no tomorrow .. that will be the next President. Who knows..? Paul Krugman says make the Stimulus bigger, will Obama use his 'catastrophe' like he used as GWBush did his WMD,,, economic catastrophe unless we pass this next stimulus.

The tyranny that's coming and that is wrapping it's arms around us is going to largely be based on the economic fiasco we are building for ourselves. When the government finally realizes that the Enron charade of Future profits to be counted as today's revenues does not work. That's going to be an interesting time. The way it needs to be.. it's all God's Plan and I don't need to get all wigged out about it.

Obama should absolutely not get your vote. Maybe if we all voted for no one. If voter turnout could be at 20% then we at least would be in a position to say that we are the Nation, this government of the People, by the People, for the People will revert to the People. I am not the 99%. I am the One in 300 plus million. Right now I am still considering Ron Paul and I want to know
more about what he has learned about all People of the US whether he is a bad cracker or maybe an honest old cracker that we might be able to work with.

Graceful Beginnings

'Ay.. tis the end of the world.' 'Crazy!' sayeth the old geezer who thinks he is privy to the the knowledge of our historic path.

Why is it historic? It is historic because people have to have the story in their minds. Knowledge is a shared desire of all humans.

What is historic? Every move and decision of the human race though it be as... as..... from the worst to the best of our potentials. The sum total and the individual is history.


How do we make history act in our own best interests?

How do we act in our own best interests?

Find employment and build employment in our own communities. Speak your mind at council meetings
and with your friends even if speaking your mind means just asking, 'Where are we going? '

Expand your sphere of friends and find things and events to share.

Vote for a green planet. Trees release oxygen and take up carbon dioxide. They bring us exactly what we need. They provide shade. What is your communities tree planting strategy?

Every parking lot could dedicate every 8th spot to a large graceful tree. Bicycle racks can actually increase accessibility for people to business.

If you decide to run for office to represent your community in our democratic process refuse any donation over $100.00, large donations are given to candidates to influence their vote.

An honest man or woman who speaks their mind can win an election against ridiculous amounts of money. The truth has great power, particularly in a culture of ignorance and confusion.

The above was transcribed by me from a notebook apparently written by me sometime over the past year(2011). Rather than let these thoughts waste on some shelf with out anyone ever noticing I have finally put them up. Sharing positive thoughts no matter our (my) self doubts has to be done. Belief is powerful.

Where is that Breakthrough?

That is where you go to see what I've been talking about lately. Trying to make some headway on getting this website an active site and in the meantime trying to figure out where my next step takes me. As of today January 7 I am still working on an edit of the HoneyDust Halloween show which puts me up against Technology which I know is a counterproductive attitude but... there seems to be a law about this Computer world and Me. It basically says whatever can be frustrating and find ways.. reasonable ways I am sure, it's not metaphysics, (are you sure Guy?) that things will not only be frustrating but find new surprising ways to block whatever the heck you think you want to achieve.

Anyways something going on with Librans this year still according to my Astrologer, Minerva.

Cab driving can not sustain me much longer I must find an alternative even though yes I do love it.

Trying to do too much and not succeeding. Don't know where to say no to the things in my life that are simply not working. Anyways had a waking dream in the morning hours about opening a Storefront in Marin I don't know what I would be selling... something about Healing I called it in my mind Sweet Life and it had to do with some type of epiphany, some type of mental insight about how much of life,my life, is wasted in struggle, needless struggle
over everything and that I could regain my contact with the inner happy soul who is just happy to share being, with everyone and somehow everything might work so easily. I can't express properly the sense of aha, and that well you had to get to be 60 years of age you miserable old fool to figure it out. Of course I haven't really figured out anything.

I stumbled out of my room in the Tenderloin Hotel in San Rafael to head for the bathroom down the hall. No different than a thousand other times cotton balls still stuffed in my ears hair looking like old Ludwig Van Frightwig, hoping to not bump into any of my assortment of ne'er do wells and under appreciated geniuses who share these old walls and anyways here comes loudmouth Mike striding down the hallway wide awake. 'Good Morning Sunshine' he loudly broadcasts to me with a grin, knowing he is annoying. Yeah for a minute or two I had it figured out Something about that mysterious Universe I mean Mike doesn't come saying 'Good Morning Sunshine' every day in fact it never happened before. And yet I am having this evanescent revelation that I can now say goodbye to my old life and graduate to Sweet Life and their to greet me. Mike who when he isn't busy mowing down imaginary people
with his imaginary machine gun, when he is frustrated you know about it. Good old Mike so in synch with the greater Universe that ... Does the world ever amaze you? That he knows... Maybe we all know, just can't quite get that breakthrough yet.

What's up with wasted energy and computers and my life.