Steering Wheel (get a grip)

   Positive transformation. We are all in this together.

   Anxiety must be released. A higher plan exists.

   Just Faith...

   Clean my desk. I have to focus on Movies and Music. 

                                 

Who Pays? 'Voting Blind'

  I had a 95 year old in my taxi a few days back returning from an emergency room visit.

She sat with me in the front seat on the ride home to Mill Valley from Terra Linda.

  She was bright and engaging even at 11PM or maybe midnight.

  She said she was ready to die. She was just bored she said, ready to go. Despite her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She had her wits about her, she could still walk.

I told her she had a beautiful heart not just commenting on the strong sense of her personality

but just her ... actual Heart for keeping her so well and vital for so long.

  None of this makes her opinion any more valid than anyone else's.

  ' Voting Blind' is what she said two days before our new Health Insurance program where

We apparently insure the insurers. A master coup for Obama, a week ago it looked dead.

   People can get upset at angry Republicans all they want. Michael Moore can rant and beat their straw dog backsides all he wants. Yes it's ugly, people can be pretty unpleasant when angered. Obama can strut, it will take sometime before the emptiness of this victory is apparent. Of course I would love to be insured and I would love for everyone to be insured no matter what there problem was nor how expensive the remedy. Where does wealth come from?

Manipulating money?

  Was the head of the CBO ( Congressional Budget Office) in Obama's office in the days leading up to this? I don't mean to be paranoid but last week the Health Care Bill was going to cost the US nearly a Trillion dollars, seems like just a couple of days ago... magic! Suddenly Wow.. cool this will actually save us money. 

  Done deal... sold to the American! Slam the gavel down... quick. 

   

American Health Care

 I don't even know how to speak. Night time cab driving can put one in an early grave.

 There is a memorial service for a fellow cab driver for our company next Saturday in the East Bay 'congestive heart failure' whatever that is. A sweet guy who worked the really late or long hours but had a preexisting condition I am told an 'enlarged heart'. I generally get off by 3 AM.

I work only 4 nights a week. I don't have insurance.

 In this ball of confusion which is the health care debate and the 2700 page bill (hey 2700 pages doesn't make it wrong!) It just makes it a huge mystery. Suddenly the CBO claims that it will lessen the deficit, Dennis Kucinich who I was starting to think was a true hero gave in to Obama's  arm twisting. (I imagine Obama going on for a half hour maybe an hour with such a barrage of self certain verbiage mixed with selective facts that poor Dennis out of exhaustion and confusion says OK I guess you are right.) Suddenly the momentum seems like it's going the Democrats way.

    The Bank Bailout now The Health Care Bail Out with the American people left holding the bag and all the 20 to 30 year olds who will now be forced by law to buy Health Care making them outlaws if they don't. While the great mass of American Humanity greying, stressed,

sedentary creatures with bad eating habits will drain the US Trust even more as they cling to Life. I don't blame any one for clinging to Life. Life is awesome. But we live in a sick civilization

that is preying on itself, destroying itself. There is no respect for the coming generations as we dump our inability to be accountable on their shoulders.

   A tow truck driver was talking with cab drivers at the company office as I arrived at work

I barely paid attention because I know the conversation so well and the feelings. Nothing but a Ponzi scheme he said just keep bringing in enough wealth to maintain the illusion of financial integrity while you squander it on your immediate desires somehow hoping 'Hope' that this coming generation somehow will be wealthier than we are.... when in fact it is becoming more plain by the day that likely will not be the case. Clinton/Bush looted our assets shipping off manufacturing to overseas we make money by Trickle Down.. Reagan started it the Real Estate Boom shot everyone into dreamland wow I am a millionaire- Obama back to the Trickle down only now it's your Noble Government trickling it down as they pull it out of our pockets.

   

   Sorry I am going on. So Senator Boxer, Senator Feinstein, Congresswoman Woolsey I ask you to say no to this Ill thought out concoction called the Health Care Bill.

Marin County Tea Party

 There was an event in Marin County last Sunday, March 7 in Mill Valley in the afternoon at the town Rec Center. I went there with my video camera to see what was up. The local paper wrote it up both before the event and after. Before the event there was an interesting story that included a woman's opinion that it shouldn't be held as she thought there was something 'seditious' about the goings on. 

  The event was not really a Tea Party event I would say. It was an opportunity for conservative

organizations and a variety of candidates for office to set up tables and meet people. Mostly I didn't find too much at the at the tables to interest me. I am not for ROTC in High Schools. NOt for a world that thinks enjoying driving your Hummer on Earth Day is great fun. It doesn't upset me, it doesn't shock me, it doesn't interest me. I think the separation of Church and State should be held up as a Sacred guarantee against government and religious tyranny. It didn't exactly seem like I was with 'my' people whatever that means, probably I mean the folks having a cigarette (I don't smoke) or a drink out on Peri's or 19 Broadway's patio.

   I went searching to see if I could find out what the Tea Party is and why or how a frequent Tree Hugger (a good pat works, touch some rough bark, maybe a high five to a Redwood or a Buckeye any tree will do) like me thinks I belong. I found some inspiration and did find some people I feel a good affinity with. I believe there maybe a video clip up as ASAP.

... as soon as I finally finish up the Adventures in Biodiesel Video that is so painfully long overdue. A fascinating piece of cinema verite if I do say so myself or as Bill Belichik would say 'It is what it is.' Another example of why thank God I am not a candidate for any public office anywhere. Get it done Guy. Two fresh clips are up with maybe just two or three more clips. Then maybe Tom will invite me out to Virginia again where we can do something fresh again and not wait 1 and 1/2 years for completion.

    The Health Care Package 

Psychic

   That was an interesting day. Toast... Fried... Me. Oh well and  just fine in it's way. 

    So. No I never did get out to Point Reyes for my sleep medicine. I got fired up from whatever it was I wrote yesterday morning and took a morning hike instead up the hill behind the Deer Park School. I guess it did me some good took me out of my Worry zone. The wildflowers are looking great. I was going to move my VW Bug so it wouldn't get ticketed but the car wouldn't start so I stopped in at the Fairfax PD to ask them for mercy on their street sweeping ticket patrol every Monday 9AM to 10AM, it's a $50 ticket. The Fairfax PD has been super on my two visits to their dispatch office. No problem on the waiver but when I got back from the hike just about 9AM, the Bug started up and also the windshield wipers that have been broken since before Christmas! ... started up. What do you know?

  I guess I got a wee bit of sleep that day but pretty much ran on fumes, and probably looked a complete wreck, but hey! Just a cab driver. This pretty young waitress who was telling me she planned to teach clairvoyance or psychic stuff as a career move said to me did you say you were 'a complete failure'? No what I said was 'I was a complete fan of yours.' Well she was psychic apparently and heard the other, so I told her... definitely I am not a complete failure, I have a bit of success, there, about a 5 or 10% ratio. I gave her my new card as a photographer.

   I felt really bad that I didn't just find a way to run for Governor of California. There are always about 20 crackpots running and there was no reason not to join them (I would only run to win) but the deadline came and went, I just couldn't do it. I gave a ride home to an elder Lady and we commiserated about California, yup it will just keep slogging on towards disaster.  I felt ashamed that at almost 60 years of age with what once was my whole life in front of me that I couldn't have gotten myself in a slightly more responsible position but.... It's Allright!

  'It's Allright Ma, It's Life and Life Only!' as Bob Dylan sang. 

   The cats purring alongside the computer, it's 2:30 AM. It's been a Hard Day's Night.

Heart

 I am writing to describe my heart. It is a fragile little fellow that I wish to keep beating on.

I haven't begun to do what I can on this Earth. Yet I have been here some good while...

58 years plus almost another 1/2.

  My heart are you weak or strong? Well... what do you think Guy?  I ask myself.

  The organ of Love. How does that work? Amazing isn't it. It works somehow right from that

 beating 'Heart' of ourselves comes Love. 

   It's about 7 AM this Monday morning. I am in the midst of quite a bit of anxiety in my personal self... again. Last night that being Saturday night Sunday Morning I took my last anti-depression/sleeping pill Temazapan which was prescribed for me back about the first week of December from the Point Reyes Clinic. I intend to start my car about an hour from now and drive out there this MOnday Morning and get a fresh prescription filled. I would like some other medicine but I guess this stuff worked. I haven't slept yet and now I don't believe I can.

I am worried about my Heart. (Peace old buddy.... Good Boy!) I had nothing to put myself to sleep with despite my good cheer coming home at 3 AM with my good buddy fellow cab driver, who silver haired of my generation shared that he wanted a home with some Hippie Chicks to retire too. Maybe that was me who first offered up that notion anyways we both are dreaming fools as we laughed our goodnights.

   This was the winter of my 'Breakdown' it was a psychological crisis that brought me to the ER

a couple of months ago. I still haven't opened up the bill from December, I have decided to try to write something out rather than go now to the ER and get another scary bill. I might open up the bill right now but  am hoping working on breathing Peace into my heart so that I will still be here on this Planet, beautiful Planet, with you. Last week Monday I had some rather frightening episode of Fibrillation. It was pretty intense and I haven't been the same since. I think it might take a good while to get strong again. I want to get strong again. I don't wish to dwell on the negative this writing is a prayer for my heart so I will do my best as I have tried always, to bring Peace and Honesty to the narrative . I hoped after the New Year despite my previous visit to the Point Reyes Clinic to survive and thrive through a completely natural approach. I put the Paxil and Temazapan in the closet and with the help of some natural healers and God's manifestation of my path in front of me I tried to get my self on to firmer ground.

   The 'Breakdown' the 'Beautiful Breakdown' as a friend told me that was what I would have

 that back in October when I explained to a dear Musician friend of mine why I was canceling the music performances at the San Anselmo Coffee Shop. It has been beautiful all of Life It's funny how the Presence or real Possibility of Death.... yes Guy. Well it's humbling. God. I want to shout out loud. Lord I want to manifest your Power not be humbling mumbling petty fears.

   Lord I WANT TO MANIFEST YOUR POWER.  The caps were an accident that I decided to leave on. God bless you all for patience through the years with me. How do you manifest the Power of The Lord Guy? Die Gracefully or Live with Faith.

Upside Down and Backwards

  'Upside down and backwards'... the GGT bus driver told me as I put the transfer into the

fare box. I tried it again and still it didn't work, one more time and I was good.

   It's been a tough week. These past few weeks I found myself thinking about being the next California Governor. Here I am, a cabdriver, all last week in damage control over my overdrawn bank account. And there was,  a week ago Monday night when I was a suspected bicycle thief by the sheriff's department. My friend Gary whose 72' (approx.) Ford Ranger pick-up truck, hand painted, had been pulled over at 3:30 AM in San Anselmo. My bicycle was in the back and the Sheriff's had thought they had broken the big bicycle theft ring. I didn't get why they needed to ask the passenger for ID as well, 'Why?' I said starting me off on the wrong foot with the guys. We got out of that and I am leaving out the juicy details but if Gary doesn't want to file a complaint, that's OK then.

  So Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman with their millions of dollars war chests will likely battle it out. Poor California. When you have received millions of dollars means you owe people big favors. Nice people I wish I had gotten my life a bit more together. We just don't have a strong Independent candidate. 

  (Guy, maybe show some leadership in your own world.)  Hmmm..

    Three in the California Platform.

    Moratorium on all new water hookups unless from an independent supply. (Yes I realize it's raining again tonight). We have to build a future for the coming generations, not destroy it. Every year the personal freedom of California residents is diminished as we bring

more and more new residents in. Every year we increase the danger to our community our families will face difficult water rationing. Still the California development model continues..

more bodies means more money. Wrong. Just more bodies.

   Legalize Marijuana. Let's step up and do what's right. We can't deny freedom any longer to

all those who choose to use Marijuana for Meditation, Medicine or Recreation. Plus we all know what it would do for the California Economy.

   Immigration relief. Let's get the illegal immigrant population down. Offer free transportation south of the border in safety. From Mexico to El Salvador and Guatemala.

Let's get the Mexican government to kick in some money. The Governor needs to visit Mexico and let the Mexican people and it's Government know it's over. California and the USA have much work to do getting ourselves back together. Offer legal Guest Worker status for all those who currently have jobs. Help get thousands back to their native land.