After two days what can I say?
My computer is bad for my health. That is why I am never being responsive lately.. maybe I am/was always poor at response. Driving cars is bad for my health that's why I do it for 10-12 hours a day
scratching out a living. Actually I drive as little as possible but now when I want more than anything to be in Oregon with my sister and family now I am driving every day desperately trying to have some money in my pocket, but I may not be able to escape. It's all right.
For a year or two I've been watching this Mayan date with destiny approach. A couple of weeks ago I posted I wish people (look in the mirror Guy) would take it seriously 'Judgement Day' now it seems all of us got our bell rung. I pray to God that there is not another eruption coming before the 21st. The day before the Connecticut horror, there was a show on the Bay Area radio station KPFA, that old lefty Public Supported radio station. A couple of Mayan scholars were chatting about this Calendrical event and it was fascinating and a little inspiring. The basics were that there was no prediction from the Mayans as to what to expect next Friday but this event happened before when the last Bhaktun the 13th
was inaugurated, back somewhere 3,000 some odd years BC and supposedly there were a couple of ancient Vases from the Mayans that commemorated depicted this event in the past when either 7 or 11 Gods revisited the Earth and the message depicted these scholars agreed was somehow that they 'reset civilization' back on course after it had strayed. Don't think for a minute that the (Aztec) Civilization that the Spanish Europeans encountered was somehow anything to be respected or admired as if connected with some greater harmonic course. I don't blame the Spanish for taking their cannon to the great city and blasting it to smithereens. If you don't know you can dig for some information on what the state of that Civilization was... but enough digression.
Or maybe just a little more. I was listening to Sports Radio on KNBR that morning as the news broke. I really appreciate Gary Radnich and Krueger for their letting their show go in the only direction it could that morning. Heart to heart nothing more about BS spoiled millionaires chasing bouncing balls. Anyhow.. as the day faded into night ... my last fare took me into the town of Fairfax. That in itself was a story. As i write someone is screaming insanely in the city parking lot in San Rafael, wailing now, I guess I'll open my window and try to... 'Where am I supposed to go!' a female voice wails in an urban homeless domestic dispute echoing through the 4 story parking edifice, that is part of landscape. Do I get involved? No.
'Urban Pscychosis' How come neither Presidential contender could mention Homelessness as an illness reflecting the rot at our core? How come? I guess that is a dumb question. Because neither one dares address the rot at our core. I am trying to give President Obama fresh slack for his new term.
So this morning waking up and feeling deep guilt for all of my sins of existence, for whatever reason, resign myself to drive again another day. I refrain from even turning the radio on, no music, no news, nothing, until finally I brake down and end up right to the core going to PBS radio and listening two the interview with the rabbi who held in his ..... so skipping ahead right back into the heart of emotion I went. To the depths maybe to appease the guilt from they night before wherein I had shared such happiness at the Sleeping Lady Cafe with friends and new friends, despite the national trauma, and we were loud and happy. It's all my fault.
Tonight after an exhausting day i finally take in a Movie it's been 6 months and maybe I'll see Lincoln, because it's a big movie and maybe it will benefit me, but instead I see 'Hitchcock'
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