I was told yesterday by a friend of mine of perhaps a year or two of extra age on me that
by sighing loudly as I sat down with him that I perhaps was not comporting myself with
the dignity that I deserved. Somehow that if a younger person had overheard me they
might think that I was a falling apart old guy. My friend a soul with
silver hair and radiant laugh lines I think was trying to give me good advice. Come on man, we
are a brotherhood, let's try to act like we can handle everything.
I think everyone is trying to give me good advice these days. I have been under the belief That Everything is God Talking to me. I have been trying to rein in that old heart on Fire that gets
so stressed out about things that can only be God's Plan or if that offends you or you
question my intelligence for using the word God then I could say things that are out of
my control. If I was able to hold a Faith so secure in God's Plan then obviously I wouldn't
be in the shape I am in today.... yet in fact I can easily with a simple self conscious nudge
think at this late moment with my cold feet on the wood floor, when I should be in bed, still believe it to be just as it needs to be.. that even all my wobbly, perilous moments of self inflicted doubt, torment and fear are merely the stages of a Life that must be passed through
always to get me to the place of Great Connection, if you will.
Another friend gave me a book on Existentialists. He suggested it might relax my mind.
Day by day. A friend came up to me at 19 Broadway this marvelous Tuesday evening Probably the best evening to go into Fairfax of the week just for the Jam Thing that the Danny Uzilevsky and Jon Korty 'Duo' (Hah!) provide, extra transcendence. I cannot believe that so many dance troupes in Marin County don't come out and find the real stuff, forget your recorded tapes.
Anyways this female friend she says 'thank you Guy... you let me go through the stop sign first, at the intersection ' somewhere in the last few days, 'you didn't see it was me'. I guess she was right and thank you.. for me I continue to try to drive relaxed and just kind of joy of pointing at someone and telling them it's their turn, you go! Naturally that barely balances the moments of the opposite but still I breathe I try.. drive relaxed. But as fate would have it the next moment we got caught up in dancing this song that had no exit. 'Turn on Your Love Lights' I really wasn't that I have gotten to be a good dancer or am full 0f energy but the music forced us, lifted us, demanded us and no my heart was not on fire for her love though it seems a shame
that somehow even more could have happened but we both recognized that we had just shared a Great Gift of magic as our souls shared honestly 'when you get a lonely in the middle of the night, and you need someone to hold you tight. Come on Baby. Baby it's for sure. Turn on your Love Light, let it shine on me. Let it shine, let it shine! Let it Shine! ' We danced it together and gave our souls some good love out their on the dance floor where sometimes that's where great love happens.
I talked to Tommy, at the bar now 21, and able to bring his guitar out now and join with the Jams and the places of music. 'Everything else is Bullshit he says' Music is the only real thing in the world for him. He sees his path as a poor musician. You never know I say I just believe that some talents are such that you have no choice. Some musicians drop away and find a job and get the relief the satisfaction maybe a home, maybe a wife not for Tommy not that all that might come his way. Who KNows What's Ahead. Plenty of music.
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